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Notes for teachers - A matter of life and death!
Mary Travers

A dear friend of mine lost her husband suddenly, leaving her with a child of 3 and another on the way. A believing Christian, she struggled to put personal grief aside as she explained to her bewildered, frightened daughter that God had taken Daddy to live with Him, so he would not be coming home any mote. Although she had idolized her father, the child accepted the absence and the explanation with an outward control far beyond her years. Months later, when I was visiting, she suddenly looked up and said in a conversational tone: God took Daddy away from us to live with Him; don't like God very much!

Sooner or later in most childrens' lives death obtrudes itself. Granny or Grandad no longer come to visit, an aunt or uncle become simply a fast fading photo and faster fading memory; terrifyingly, a class-mate meets with an accident and both Jewish and Christian children are told that the casket surrounded by flowers contains their former companion! How to explain this journey of no return, this one-way street which is death? How to explain it moreover, so that human loss is not seen as God's gain in such a way that the child doesn't like God very much!
The Christian creed states flatly:
We believe.., in the resurrection of the body and the life of the world to come.

Ruben Schindler reminds us that the believing Jew is also totally committed to the idea of life after death. The thirteenth article of faith, recited by pious Jews after morning prayer, runs:
I believe with perfect faith that there will be a revival of the dead at the time when it shall please the creator.

These notes are offered to teachers and parents who operate within either of these contexts,
Firstly, let us admit that we are all afraid of the unknown, all bewildered and frightened in the face of death. Not to admit this is like whistling in the dark and children, with their uncanny knack of identifying with what we are rather than with what we say, will sense our unspoken fears and be all the more frightened themselves. Secondly, let us allow ourselves, and our children, time to mourn:
...let your tears fall for the dead,
and as one who is suffering grievously begin the lament (Sir. 38:16)

This is sound psychological advice; so also are the words which follow:
then be comforted for your sorrow
for... sorrow of heart saps one's strength (Sir. 38: 17 ,18 ).

This is a healthy acknowledgment of our genuine sorrow at the loss of a loved one, and at the same time a recognition that time generally heals those wounds which are not allowed to fester under widow's weeds for the rest of an embittered lifetime.

We should not be afraid to speak of death when occasion arises, rather than waiting for the moment when it enters a child's life in its starkest reality. The annual cycle of the seasons, with its unending procession from the burgeoning new life of spring through the blossom and the fruiting times to the death and decay of winter which preludes yet another spring, presents us with an object lesson always to hand, only needing to be brought to the level of conscious awareness. Personal observation of the mystery of the continuity of life between seed and blossom, caterpillar and butterfly, is worth pages of theological explanation to the concrete thinking of a child. Even Paul could find no better example when answering the questions posed by the new Christians at Corinth (I Cor. 15:35-55).

The Hebrew Bible offers a study in the development of God's revelation concerning the fate of those who die. Once again, it is wise to work on the theme with youngsters when they are not tormented with the subjective Why? Why? Why? of personal loss and grief. For Christians the study may be prolonged through thewritings of the New Testament, ending with the promise found in Revelation:
God Himself will wipe away every tear from their eyes,
and death shall be no more,
neither shall there be mourning nor crying nor pain any more...
(Rev. 21:4);

a direct echo of the words of Isaiah:
..Be will swallow up death for ever,
and the Lord God will wipe away tears from all faces...
(Is. 25:8).

One last analogy, suggested by a trip which took us through many long, dark tunnels in the Appenines. A life of faith in God may be likened to walking through a dark tunnel, conscious of the presence of One who is both guide and companion, but who cannot be seen in the prevailing gloom. Death may be likened to emerging from the end of the tunnel into a blaze of sunshine, to see at last that guide and companion whose face man shall not see and live (Ex. 34:20).